Letting Go
We are all on a journey. The journey comes with weighty lessons along the way, magnified by our willingness to dig deep and inspect our ways. The inspection allows us to release that which binds us, enlightening our perspective. You are not traveling alone on the journey; the Lord is there. (Psalm 139). He is waiting on you to call for help. He is kind and graceful.
For the feistier in nature, insight may require grappling with God before releasing our own way. Anne Lamott perfectly describes “the wrestling” in the forward of Richard Rohr’s book Breathing Under Water. “Everything we let go of has claw marks on it.”
The one who wrestles with the divine will not be left behind. Look at Jacob in Genesis 32. He has had quite a cunning life up to the point where he meets God. He has been a deceiver and schemer, cheating his older brother Esau out of his birthright and blessing. He has also been tricked by his uncle Laban. He used his brilliance and God-given insights to prosper despite circumstances. God spoke to him by word and through dreams throughout his life.
Some 20 years removed from stealing his brother’s blessing (which left his brother in a state of fury, intending to kill Jacob). Jacob is traveling to meet him again. He has sent his wives, family, and herds ahead of him and is alone on the eve of meeting Esau. “So, Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched. As he wrestled with the man, the man said, “let me go for it is daybreak.” Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” (vs. 24-26)
Jacob was hanging onto his ways of deceit until the bitter end. God has to break us all of things we cannot see or are unwilling to see so we have our new royal identity. “Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.” (vs. 28)
Esau not only reconciles with Jacob but for what sounds like the first time ever, Jacob stands in humility towards his older brother. His brother then offers to lead and accompany Jacob to Seir. Jacob declines his offer of accompaniment so gracefully perhaps because he is limping or maybe something deeper. Jacob has been both broken and blessed by the divine. Jacob’s is a response of someone who is giving his older brother due honor, but is no longer moving anywhere outside of God's direction. “My Lord knows that the children are weak (faint and tender) and the flocks and herds which are nursing are with me. And if the men should drive them hard one day, all the flock will die. Please let my lord go on ahead of his servant. I will lead slowly, at a pace which the livestock that go before me and the children can endure. Until I come to you in Seir. Gen 33: 13-14
Is it just me or does it sound like Jacob is finally at the point in his journey where the white flag of surrender has produced a distinct perspective? Is this the gentle man, unwilling to force anything or anyone but pace in faith with God?
“Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yolk upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yolk is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11: 28-30